The trouble with online audiences

What I’ve learned from 4 years building an amazing digital crowd

This morning, I stood quietly in a funeral hall, watching people who flew into town just to say goodbye to Grandpa Paul (my brother-in-law’s father).

Suddenly, a powerful thought hit me:

Who from my online audience would travel this far to say goodbye?

Family members shared their words, and as photos flashed across the screen, I saw a lifetime of memories, especially how Grandpa Paul was so respected by his community. Naturally, I went into reflection mode.

Last year, I got into a low season of my work life. At the start of my journey at the end of 2020, I was so motivated. I was writing to share all the time. I got more and more people to resonate with me. I also found ways to pay the bills by doing what I loved.

But in 2024, I lost it.

I was dreading everything, including writing this newsletter. I shared about my burnout in my annual review of 2024.

I thought this happened because I lost the purpose and alignment of my work. After all, everything has changed in online education, communities, and social media these past few years. We were way past the COVID boom that helped online businesses thrive. AI showed up and it is now so easy and quick to learn instead of sitting through long-winded books and courses. It shouldn’t be a surprise that I needed to rediscover my alignment.

At the funeral, I looked back at the amazing life of Grandpa Paul. He was super active in his local community and had all these people who respected him. There were all these photos of shared memories.

And then this shocking image appeared in my head — we’re all now building our online audiences, but who’s going to come to our funeral?

Before you jump to the conclusion that I’m convincing you to stop building online audiences and start building real-life human relationships, that’s not what I’m trying to say here.

I used to think my burnout came solely from losing my purpose in work. But now I see it - a big part was losing my people! The circle that I once vibed with had disappeared. And without these people, my motivation was gone too.

Ah, now I know.

Having an online audience is important because we can all spread our ideas and influence others. We need this to market ourselves and make a living. I have nothing against it. I even promote it.

But at the same time, it can be hollow and temporary. I know so many people who’ve put in a ton of time and enjoyed the interaction with their online audiences (this includes myself), but how can it translate to a sustainable and meaningful life?

This was the moment I realized I needed to build stronger in-person connections.

There are 3 parts:

1. Connecting with people in real life - I have amazing people around me who have shown care and support over the years, but I haven’t been reaching out in their key moments. I want to send a thoughtful message to a friend before they need me.

2. Being part of an in-person group with purpose - I’ve been so focused on my digital work and family that I don’t have an active role in a physical community. I miss being part of something bigger, like a local running club or a charity group that gives me purpose.

3. Meeting online friends in real life - One time I was in Taiwan, and I knew Paul Millerd, someone I admired and knew online, was there but I only reached out when I was in town. I guess I felt awkward or thought he’d be too busy. I’m lucky enough to have acquainted myself with so many great names on the Internet, next time I'm going to make the effort.

Grandpa Paul wasn’t just known, he was loved.

Friends flew miles to honor him. Friends sent in messages to be read at the funeral. When I heard his family speak, it hit me deeply.

So this is where I am now - rethinking not just my work but also how I built my life in the last few years. I have no regrets because in life, you take some and you give up some. But now I know that for the next chapter of my life, I’ll want to have more of these stronger human connections on top of an online crowd who loves hearing from me.

These real relationships will keep me grounded.

What else?

• If I’m being completely honest with you, I’m sorting out what my focus is with these emails that I send you. I thought hard and realized I shouldn’t try too hard. The most comfortable way is for me to continue expressing myself and sharing what I’m doing and learning.

• This late feeling of reconnecting with people also led me to something new. I recently took up a part-time role as a fractional head of marketing for a CEO. Yup, I bet you’ve never heard of this role before. I only know one person doing this (not as an agency). It’s new, unique, and aligned with what I’ve been teaching so far. Perhaps I can share the steps and learnings I have in this journey too.

• I got introduced to this tool called ​Wispr Flow​. Basically you can click one key on your keyboard to say something and it will write it out neatly for you. Think about replying to an email by just saying it. Or I am writing these bullet points by saying it out loud. Not affiliated, just thought it's cool to share.

• Apparently, Substack is where all the civilized, serious thinkers hang out now. I’m posting for the first time on Substack and considering spending more time there. Is this a good idea?!

Great reconnecting with you this week, see you next time!

— Kevon